End of the Garden

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A Day in Dingestow Village Hall

Exhausted. EXHAUUUSTED. Long day, weary, legs aching, feet mashed. Have I overreached myself today? We shall see. 

I was up early, had to do hair and slap on make up (oh, where art thou, Rosemarie?) before leaving at around 7.30am. Arrived, made tea, then piddled about for the next coupe of hours whilst Ian set up the lighting and camera. I know from my film experience that the technical aspect always takes loads of time. There is a lovely village shop next to the hall where I bought up all the available daffs to dress the very plain hall and a newspaper to keep me calm before we could start filming. Dingestow is a small village outside Monmouth that happens to have this very smart hall which was built with lottery money in 2001/02 - and opened by Princess Ann, no less. Pictures of her maj in the lobby. Dingestow is a quiet place, just what we needed.

We started the shoot with some easy warm-ups for us both to set the scene, get the lighting adjusted, change a few things. It was then that I acknowledged that my energy was all over the place.

Today for me was psychologically challenging, the physical challenge crept up on me during the day. The challenge was to keep my demons at bay, to silence all the little monkeys whispering 'you are too old to do this', 'you are not good enough', 'your form has gone down the pan' 'who do you think you are, thinking you can make a T'ai-Chi DVD, especially the way you do it now. Twenty years ago, yes, but not now, not at your age and your physical decrepitude, when there are all those extremely fit blokes out there doing it so well....' (don't think I thought the word 'decrepitude' when willing myself not to say to Ian that this was all a huge mistake, let's stop now and go home and do something sensible like have a cup of tea. But it seems to be the correct word to describe my condition today.) So had another cup of tea anyway and didn't go home then.  During all this negative bombardment I forced myself to focus on the benefits that this planned DVD might offer to those who study with me - and lots of other people who do not have a great athletic ability. I do believe that our efforts today will encourage many who believe they can't do T'ai-Chi  and to think otherwise, to get out of their comfort zones and give it a go. We shall see.

These monkeys clarified why it has taken me so long to be in action around this filming. I am the barrier. And today I did manage to surmount these barriers and just get on with it.

Of course Ian had his demons too! Like me he was doing his best with limited time, limited equipment and an extremely limited budget.  An instructional DVD is not exactly high art, it needs to be clear, concise, easy to use.... So I knew this venture was going to challenge his finely honed artistic sensibility, especially when I squashed some of his imaginative suggestions that might have looked wonderful but would have clouded its purpose. Thank you, Ian for your patience and perserverance today - most of all at the end of the day when we tried to re-shoot the complete short form with better lighting. By then my legs had most definitely had it and I started to fall over and had to keep stopping. So we gave up, packed up and drove our separate ways into the pouring rain.


Monday, March 22, 2010

The Winter Solstice, written in December 2007

Yesterday I participated in a Winter Solstice ceremony. Our hostess, Chrys, reminded us of the turning of the wheel, that now is the time of the shortest day and the longest. Time to reflect on our achievements of the past year and to let go anything we do not wish to carry forward into the New Year, the time of the sun returning into our lives.

Never have I needed such reminding that circumstances change, like the seasons. These past few months have been a period of deep darkness, a time that on awakening each morning I have consciously taken a vow to be happy, to be grateful for what I do have. Without this constant reminder that life is precious and so much to be appreciated I would have rapidly slipped into a deep depression such were the circumstances of those months.

Friday, March 19, 2010

T'ai-Chi DVD

For many years the people who come to my T'ai-Chi classes have been asking for a clear step-by-step DVD of the Yang style Short Form I teach to beginners. I did manage to get a VHS video made a few years ago which took about two years from the filming to the editing, to the packaging and printing and copying before it was ready for use. It was simple film: one camera angle of Matthew, Kate and I going through the short form in St John's Hall, Isleworth. T'ai-Chi practitioners have found it useful but it only presented the front view, so was always a challenge when attempting to copy the movements back to front, so to speak.

Last year in the autumn one of my Monmouth T'ai-Chi student's told me that her husband had a place on Mon-TV's very comprehensive film training course. It is free - and for those who want to know more, it is funded by the Welsh Assembly and tutored by professionals in the media industry. People come from far and wide to participate.  Part of the course is writing, shooting and editing a five minute film, and Ian Wallace, Diana's husband, was looking around for a subject. Diana suggested he do something about me, mainly because of my dance background, she thought it might be interesting. Go to sueweston.com to see Ian's film Living Without Regrets, - a title that Ian chose and now I have to live up to. (Thank you, Ian)

Ian has a great eye for framing a picture, he was considerate and organised when working out the storyboard and during the shooting. I was bit nervous at the editing stage, but I think he has condensed the over two hours of material to the required five minutes rather wonderfully. What do you think? Let me know, leave a comment at the end of this blog. Mon-TV think so, they are using Ian's film to show potential fund-raisers, including the Welsh Assembly. And he was given a distinction on graduating from the course, congratulations, Ian

Then the subject of the much requested T'ai-Chi DVD floated into the front of my mind. A guide that offers clear step by step instructions in easy-to-use chapters, that is clear and filmed giving both front and back views, as though the student is standing behind the instructor as in class. I mentioned this to Diana at our T'ai-Chi session last Wednesday and she told me that Ian was going to be taking on some supply teaching soon so would not be available for a few months after Easter. I contacted him the next day, he responded enthusiastically, we met this morning, Friday 19 March, and on Tuesday 23 March we meet  to shoot the film in Dingestow Village Hall for an 8am start. If anyone wants to come along and lend a hand, or make a cup of tea, or get your T'ai-Chi slippers on and join in, please do! We need a couple of runners, equipment wranglers etc.

I am making wishes that this time it will not take two years between filming and completion. I'll let you know when it emerges - and keep you updated here as we go through the process of writing, filming, editing, recording the commentary, designing the cover, making copies, packaging....


Saturday, March 13, 2010

What Happens on a Qigong & Meditation Retreat Week?

 
 When I arrived on Holy Isle in September 1999 Lama Yeshe Rinpoche gave me instructions for my year of retreat. To my surprise Lama provided only two guidelines one of which was to not do anything unless I could rejoice. Not what I had expected to hear. The subtly of this has been filtering through ever since: can I also rejoice when things fall apart as well as on a sunny day when all's well?

Lama's instruction is a precious gift that I share freely with others through Qigong and T'ai-Chi, which I have been practising and teaching for many years. When in the summer of 2003 The Centre of World Peace and Health opened I immediately offered to lead Qigong & Meditation Retreat weeks. I knew from my year on Holy Isle that this place would make a superb holiday destination offering beauty, wellbeing and adventure. 
At the beginning of each course I guide everyone through a deep relaxation that allows his or her retreat to begin after the convoluted journey to the island. Over a week or weekend course participants, always a mix of ages, backgrounds, beliefs and abilities, learn the gentle, releasing and healing movements of Wild Goose Medical Qigong. We practice this flowing form alongside simple peaceful mind and loving kindness meditations. People who have arrived as strangers rapidly form friendships as the work and the island weave their magic. Many are at a watershed in their lives. The company, the practise sessions and the non-denominational spiritual sanctuary of Holy Isle provide a space for insight and inspirational choices to bubble through. 
 
As well as the Qigong and meditation the island itself is restorative. In the afternoons, which are kept free for all to enjoy its beauty, participants might climb the mountain even though their greatest fear is of heights - and return filled with glowing confidence. Another day they may help in the garden, take walks along the shores and some plunge into the cold waters of the Firth of Clyde. All reasons to rejoice! The volunteers who so generously look after Holy Isle ask visitors to help in the kitchen. These could be labelled Laughter Sessions, for this is what is heard during the cleaning and washing up.
Relaxed and revitalized participants take back home with them skills to sustain their own ability to rejoice. Katherine's feedback speaks for many:

'What a wonderful, magical and transformational week. I arrived tired and depleted and now have fully restored, and with so much more than I ever imagined.'

And the other instruction that Lama Yeshe gave me at the beginning of my retreat year? I'll share this with you when next we meet on Holy Isle, the perfect place to study the art of rejoicing!