End of the Garden

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Change and Moving On

When I first started learning T'ai-Chi in 1986 my teacher, Dr John Kells, used to talk about change, that T'ai-Chi was a vehicle to help us to deal with the changes that arise in our lives. I thought I had got this. But it took me several years to understand what he was referring to. I simply assumed that because my life had been very nomadic I could and did deal with change with ease. But then the other changes that affect each and every one of us as we move through life started to affect me: people close to me dying, the work I had relied on for so many years no longer being available, my own personal development and growth; not all comfortable issues to absorb and accept. And I started to understand the more subtle ways of dealing with change beyond moving from country to country and lugging the same baggage wherever I rocked up. I started to understand that the soft yielding strength of T'ai-Chi could help me through some extremely devastating changes. It was not there to make anything 'better', but to help me to stay present, accept, grieve and learn. And change.

The T'ai-Chi form is a model for life: it begins in great simplicity, like birth, becomes more complicated, as in life when starting to learn and earn a living, evolve partnerships and friendships, have children, make financial commitments and all the other things in life that can keep us awake at night. Then we head towards death.

Last year one of The Islworth School of T'ai-chi Ch'uan's long term students and assistant teachers, a beautiful woman called Christine, took early retirement at 55. A few short months later she was dead. She died with great grace. It was still shocking to lose such a splendid friend and colleague. Her unexpected and sudden death underlined the realities of our short lives: none of know when we will die, and that NOW is the moment to start living those dreams. Her death moved me profoundly - and I remember her with love and warmth. And got me thinking about my own life and if I was being fair to my own dreams.

There is one dream I have held for many years and a group of us have shared this dream together. This dream is to live in community, to have a place where we can give each other space whilst at the same time support each other. The others in this small circle are still tied up with their every day careers and child raising duties. But Jeanne, my sister, and I are a bit more footloose and fancy free at this stage in our lives. So we decided to go for it. To not wait any longer, but at least get the ball rolling towards the formation of community. The others can join us when they are ready. Both our properties are now under offer and I suspect I will be leaving Isleworth very soon now. And yes, this has been a bit of a shock to me! It is lovely here, I have loads of dear friends, great transport, a village atmosphere, a garden and a very comfortable home. A part of me can't quite grasp that I am letting this go, making a change and moving on to new challenges.

Together we have put an offer on a large property near Monmouth. It is secluded but not isolated. When we started to search for this place of our dreams, where we could host residential courses and retreats, we drew up a list of criteria and looked in Devon, Cornwall and Wales. The place that matched our list and touched our hearts is two miles outside Monmouth, on the Welsh borders, so it is very easy to get to. It has a Victorian walled garden, about nine acres of land which includes three paddocks, ancient woodland and a stream with a waterfall. The property itself has the potential to become a warm, comfortable and friendly place for people to visit: either for a restful break, for a course, on retreat - or as a willing helper to assist us in looking after the property and land.

I first started learning T'ai-Chi in 1986 and have been teaching it since 1990 in Isleworth. This past year The Isleworth School of T'ai-Chi Ch'uan has seen some positive changes. Christopher Pippard and Linda Tillman, two long-term students at the school, have come on board as teachers and have been leading the classes alongside me since September. They wish to take my long thread of years of T'ai-Chi teaching onwards into the future. I am delighted. I have watched both of them become more and more confident each week. During Wednesday 28 February's class, I spoke to the students about these changes winding it around the practice of T'ai-Chi and this being the vehicle that enables us to make radical and creative choices in our lives. My own journey with T'ai-Chi Ch'uan is also changing. This past year I become enamoured with Chinese Medical Qigong - the next session you can join is on Saturday 10 March at St Johns Centre, and Jeanne and I have booked ourselves onto a Qigong training course in China in April. So first China, then Wales.

My final T'ai-Chi class in Isleworth is planned to be on Wednesday 28 March. Will you join us?